Reflections of Motherhood

I've just packed away a few loved toys to save for when I have grand babies. Amazing what four kids and ten years of mothering experience does. We have our favorites. The toys that all four have loved and used. The toys that were perfect for the imagination, versatile and used by all of them.  Audrey is turning 3 in a month, and starting to out grow some of the baby toys that I've kept for 10 years now.

I look forward to the day when I take them out again. How fun it will be to be able to play with my babies, babies :)

The high chair is still at our table though, and every time Audrey climbs in and out of it I laugh at the futility of it. But it is HER chair. It was all of THEIR chairs.  I think I will hold onto it for as long as I can. An absence of a high chair in a home is a sign of an entirely new stage in life.  I'm happy for the new stage and all that it brings, but sad that I must wait at least 10 years to see it again.   I've finally got this mothering babies thing down, and it is over. I suppose that is how it works. Now to figure out the pre teen and teenager stages! Once I have that down they will be out of the house. Wow. Out of the house. That too will commence before another 10 years is up.  Wow.  How short the time is that I have with them.

I better take that to heart and love them as much as I can while  I have them :)

Finding My Happy Pace

We re well into summer and it is amazing. I've found my happy pace in life and it is just this. Simple and slow. I get up every morning, have my coffee and do my farm chores in the morning dew.

The rest of our days have been spent just hanging out together. I feel reconnected with the kids and I think they do as well. This year with the kids in school I needed to repair my soul and I believe I was able to do that. Now that I'm better I'm so enjoying being the mom they have been waiting for me to be. My heart and soul are back into them. I've got the mental energy once again to just be still and enjoy a moment.
I'm am so grateful to be able to look around and once again see the beauty in my surroundings. I actually feel as though I did when we first moved here. I see the potential in things once again and not the work. I see the beauty in what is here and not what is run down or broken. I think that applies to the outlook I have on my kids as well.

Here are some recent moments that I was able to take the time to capture....

My little man who had the 'best day ever' because he finally got to run (with his mom) in a 10 minute summer storm.

An hour spent hanging out on round bales, and jumping on the trampoline long after her older brother went to bed and just before the sunset.

Of course, now there is Roxy the wonder dog. I now get the unconditional love thing. She just thinks I'm the best thing since slice cheese and I love that she doesn't know any better.

That Moment...

That moment when you realize your oldest baby just turned 10.

That moment when you realize how fast the years go by.

That moment when you realize you are watching her turn into a beautiful and amazing young lady.








That moment when you realize she is old enough to drive the lawn tractor and you put her to work :)

Oh Audrey Baby

Audrey. Our Fourth child. The baby....Have I mentioned that she is crazy? like seriously, hilariously crazy?  This picture just makes me laugh. and laugh....and laugh.   I think she is very lucky she is our fourth. We certainly would not have found the same things quite so funny if our first one did them. Well, not that some of the destructive and crazy things she does are funny . It's more like we just recognize how out numbered we really are ;)

Christmas 2011

This year my husband worked from the 23rd to the 28th of December (on nights right now). He ended up missing out on a few things while dealing with people not having a great Christmas, but that is the job of a police officer and consequences of being married to a hero ;)

I don't mind really. He was able to show up several times, and frankly I like seeing him in uniform. Merry Christmas to me ;)

The last few days could have been quite stressful, but I'm pretty sure this was the most relaxing Christmas I have ever had.   By the time Christmas came, and dinner was prepared I seriously just sat back watching my kids play with their new toys.

Although I was annoyed the kids were in school until the 23rd, and most of the baking was done by me alone, I think having the kids in school this year allowed me so much more time to be prepared.
My Christmas list was finished in October, most of the presents found (via used sites) by November, and all of my shopping was complete by the first week of December...stockings and all.
It was great. That left me enough time for decorating, cookie baking, devotions and extra time to enjoy with the kids.  We even fit in a dinner party and two date nights. 

Here are a few things I did that work really really well:

1) I keep a Christmas/birthday list on my computer all year round. Anytime I go shopping or see a toy or have an idea for the kids I write it down.  This saves my brain. This also allows me to know what kind of toys are out there.

2) By September/October I have a really good idea what the kids want/need. I start to search the net for the items and begin price comparing. I've also bought a few items throughout the year that I knew they would love.

3) I find what I can gently used, or homemade via etsy.com. I also price compare for weeks.

4) We save all year long for Christmas starting in January. This way it is not such a blow to our account.

5) I sell toys the kids have outgrown to help with the budget. 

6) I don't go overboard. Each child gets 2 things just for themselves. The rest is for all the kids to play with together.  

7) WE FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT.  We spend extra time together and I remember to enjoy the time we have together. This week is the best present. We are just going to hang out together in our pj's, play board games, build train tracks, and pray for more snow so we can test out our cross country skiis purchased on kijiji of course ;)

I hope you all had a merry Christmas. I certainly did.

Siblings..Part Two

I never had a sister. I had a best friend but not a sister so it is hard for me to relate to my two eldest daughters. However I did have a big brother. Watching the dynamic between these two makes me laugh. Peyton is quite like my brother, and Audrey is well...more like me ;)   They can be so mean and pick on each other, and then be the best of friends.   I love how my life now reminds me of my life back then. I love that I can look back on my childhood and my family and smile.

Siblings...lol

I can't even begin to explain how funny this picture is. I'm pretty sure you can see the look on her face. She KNOWS exactly what she is doing. Lol. Poor Peyton.

10 Years of Memories...Letting go and holding on

The other week I purchased a new set of bunk beds off kijiji for the girls. This allowed more room in Lara and Erin's room, and Audrey her own big girl bed with mattress. 

Yesterday my husband drove off with the crib, the change table and all the bedding and supplies, as we sold IT on kijiji.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE used sites?  So practical, and really the most environmental way to shop.  We were able to purchase exactly what we were looking for. We just needed to be patient until the right product came up for sale. I also love that I don't need to go driving around town looking for the best bargain.

Enough about kijiji though....my point to this post is the absence of the crib.  A crib my father lovingly found for us 10 years ago when we were first married, pregnant and broke.  A crib that has held 4 babies and has been a fixture in our home our entire marriage.  

I don't hold onto possessions as it is just stuff, and I am so grateful to have found a couple just like us that needed baby stuff at a low price. However the absence of the crib is a reminder that our family is moving on and growing up.  Insert long drawn out sentimental Sigh..........................

I love my babies. I love that one of them pee'd her big girl bed last night because that means she is not too grown up yet ;)

I love that I have 10 years of wonderful family memories that when I look back on I smile and my heart pumps a little harder.

I love that I have many years of memories that are ready to be made.

Our Baby is Two

Audrey Margaret Anne McNish. Our fourth child. Our baby. The girl that completes our family. She is two today and I am enjoying every second of it. I'm not missing a thing and I love that. Happy birthday hunny. You complete us ;)

Time for Great Discoveries

Since I am on the subject of time this week, I thought I would share with you another reason I am glad to have some extra time during the day.

You see...I now have more time to do the basic picking up and organizing of things. I can now be a little more thorough instead of stuffing things in drawers and closets.


Like having more time to investigate funny smells coming from Lara and Erin's room......

Apparently I need to have a chat with the girls about stuffing things in drawers and closets.  I guess I have been leading by example...lol 

To answer your question ( because I know you are wondering)...

No it was not Audrey
Yes it smelled
Yes I bleached it for days
No I could not get the smell out
Yes I threw the drawer away
Yes the kid responsible got a 'What were you thinking??'
No I did not get a good explanation
Yes I am still saying things like 'Really?'

Yes I am glad I now have more time for discovery of such things ;)

Time well Spent

We had things to do today. My chickens need their fence mended so I can allow them out on the grass in their natural environment. We REALLY want to get it done.
However as it turns out, our little man woke up feeling needy and wanted Daddy. Although he could have come outside to watch his daddy work, he just needed to cuddle.
So here I sit taking a break while waiting for Audrey to wake up, and there is Adam watching Thomas the Train with Peyton.

My husband has a full time job, he farms part time, and we have a lot of stuff that always needs to get done.
But all of that is pointless if our family does not have our priority.  The fence can wait another hour. Frankly dinner can be late as well.  We are blessed that Adam works shift work and is home during the day more often than not. 

Today we have chosen the babies over our To-Do list of never ending chores.  Time Well spent and not wasted.

*** This post was originally made a month ago. Apparantly I forgot to press Post ;)

A Girly Party...Just Because

My girls decided to put on a tea party for their friends just for fun.  They did EVERYTHING from the planning, the invitations, deciding what food they wanted, setting up the table, and the planning of the games and activities.

It was so much fun to be the consultant and not the planner for once and such a joy to watch my girls entertain their friends.

There was pin the cherry on the cupcake, dance party, and a dress up and nail station. 

They had a wonderful time and they learned a lot about entertaining. I think they acquired an appreciation into how much thought and preparation goes into a friendly get together.  I'm all about allowing my kids to learn and do things on their own. I think too many leisure activities are controlled by adults. They were supervised today yes, but the flow of things certainly was not controlled. I have to admit that it was fun to be able to step back and watch how they interact with their friends.  I love it when I can see the confidence bubbling from within them.

My 'Darla'

 Audrey sometimes reminds me of Darla. You know the dentist's niece in the movie Finding Nemo?? The one that pokes at the fish tank and shakes the fish to death? That one.

She is MUCH cutter than Darla but when we see her coming we tend to hide everything. She has this search and destroy mentality and just doesn't STOP!!  This is the look I get when I say no to her lol. Notice the foot up on the side of the chicken box? That is her little rebellious protest.

God love y'a Child...God love y'a ;)

Country Mama...Here me ROAR!!

Having baby chicks and farm animals around is a wonderful experience for myself as well as my babies. However...with life also comes death and when a 3 year old falls over onto a baby chick and mom (that would be me) has to scoop up panting little chicken with it's guts hanging out is not such a great experience. I must admit that when my husband is around I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I am country mama, here to protect my babies from TRAUMA.
" nothing to see here folks!!"

Now to go Vomit..

She is Perfect

 Happy 9th Birthday Lara!! My oldest. The artist. The athlete. The Brainiac. You are Perfect in every way just the way God made you.

She will be dancing to Pink's "perfect:" song at her dance recital next week. I could not think of a better song for her. I'm a proud mama and I'm pretty sure I will be the mom in the audience SOBBING while watching my beautiful baby girl on the stage.  I want her to know that she is perfect in every way, and that she is loved just the way she is.  Nine years have gone by so quickly as I'm sure will the next nine.  Being a mom is not easy but watching them grow and develop into the little people God created them to be is just amazing.
Although nine years ago I was not sure about this mothering thing...I'm certainly blessed to have been given the opportunity.

Moments Like This

It is moments like these I find myself stopping. I take a mental picture of the moment. I want to remember it. These are the times to remember. The times when we are simply together. I want to cherish it. I want to cherish the insignificant moments that are greatly significant in so many ways. I want to look back at my life 30 years from now and feel confident that I took to time to enjoy their littleness. Their innocence. Their love.

The Other Man in My Life ;)

It's my little man's 4th birthday today. My only boy. My only kid with blue eyes. My biggest baby weighing in at almost 9 pounds.

This kid has proven to me that boys are born a separate breed from girls and that yes it is possible to clone your husband.

Happy birthday little man. May you ALWAYS be my little boy even when you tower over me ;)

xxoo Mom.

AMAZING GRACE

Today did not start off so well. It was cleaning day and my husband worked a night shift last night and needed to sleep. My routine was off and the days tasks felt daunting. I messed up with the kids and it was NOT GOOD.

I felt horrible. I was filled with remorse and guilt as I appologized to my kids and to God. I let go and readjusted, kicked up my heals and carried on.

Then as the day went on tasks got completed. In fact not only did we manage to clean the house, I somehow rearanged the kids rooms, took out seasonal clothing, weeded some of my vegetable garden, planted a few trilliums, cleaned chicken eggs, hung laundry out to dry, fed my kids a real supper, read them some books and snuzzled, AND played with the kids outside.

AMAZING

What started out as the worst day EVER, when I look back turned out not to be so bad after all. It was filled with sunshine and play, grace, forgiveness, laughter but MOST OF ALL....LOVE.

This morning I was POSITIVE that I wouldn't get ANYTHING accomplished. I was POSITIVE that my life sucks as it is filled with endless crappy servant like chores. THEN God reminded me that He is IN CHARGE. He reminded me that MY life is OVERFLOWING with Goodness.

HOW AMAZING IS THE SWEET SOUND OF GRACE

Happy Mother's Day

I never thought I would have children. Especially children that were so smart, loving and cute. They remind me every day about what is important. They have taught me what love is and for that I am grateful.

Update....

Heart Melting.....Not so much. Not when she rips a bible, pulls DOWN the baby gate, drinks out of the toilet, climbs up on the piano, gets up on the computer desk and writes on my papers,throws a plate and breaks ANOTHER tea pot. No I don't leave these things in reach and yes I watch her. She is QUIET, QUICK and moves furniture to suit her purposes.