Days of Joy and Sorrow

Having the extra time to breathe and fix up our home has been wonderful, but it is the time I now have to devote to my babies that is the best part.  Before I felt so torn between them all that I could not FOCUS on the babies. I would get them set up doing something but I never seemed to have a moment to help, encourage and sit down with them.  ( I DID but not for as long as I would like)

Watching the look on Audrey's face today as she completed a puzzle that Lara did 7 years ago was priceless. I felt like I turned the clock back 5 years today as I spent the day being mommy to two little people again. I was able to feel the joy and simplicity of the day and soak in every moment.

Chores were done, but also Sesame Street was watched, Play d'oh was played, Puzzles were completed, train tracks created, snacks and naps were taken, and the sand box was pee'd in.  Perfect :)

Ultimately it is just nice to feel a little joy again.  My heart is still aching every day and a piece of it feels like it is missing when they are at school.  I miss them TERRIBLY and I'm wondering when it won't hurt so much anymore. Regardless I know that we made the right decision and I just need to go through a period of adjustment. I know that it is o.k to feel pain if it means the healing of our family.  So worth it.