October 05, 2009

Fall Frustrations

It is a wonder how ANYONE could feel frustrated while looking at THIS face. The face of someone who needs me and WANTS to be close to me. To be held by ME. But today I do.
It is hard to be frustrated when I have a wonderful husband to help me at home everyday.
Or incredible daughters who love to hold and kiss their new sister

I know I am only 2 weeks postpartum and I still need to take it easy. However I'm finding that difficult to do when I have 3 OLDER kids to take care of AND a home. I can't just sit and hold a baby all day long.

Yesterday that is pretty much what I did. Hold the BABY. In fact I held her for 12 hours. Not a bad thing or a hard thing to do with the help of slings, but yesterday I started to feel frustrated.

Frustrated that our routine at home is REALLY off kilter. Frustrated that I could not join our neighbors for a hike up the mountain with the older girls because it would have been too much for me. Frustrated that I am only one person and can only do so much in one day. Frustrated that my time with my kids is not filled with love and laughter ALL OF THE TIME.

I want to re-think things. I NEED to re-think things. I am tired of plugging away at our day. Tired of routine. Tired of sitting there or folding laundry and watching my kids play with other people. I want to be a PART of life. I NEED to live a little more. Enjoy my kids a little more. Enjoy our life and enjoy that my husband is home to enjoy it with us.

At this point I'm not sure if I remember how to do that and that makes me sad.


Dad said...

You are very much part of life and the lives of others. Just sit back and enjoy it while it lasts.
Soon the kids will be going their own way and you will wonder where the hell did it all go. But, when they are gone you will have lots of time to enjoy yourself. Maybe even buy a motorcycle and cruise with your old daddy if he is still alive.
Luv ya

Marie said...

Oh honey, just keep reminding yourself she is only this little for a short time, soon she will smile and then roll and then talk and it will be gone forever... enjoy this while it lasts!

Your Dad is very wise!

Anonymous said...

Take the day off!! pick on day this week to take the day off and only do things with your kids and things for you and for your husband.. NO HOUSEWORK ALLOWED!!! just enjoy!! and yes the next day you will look around and feel it, but you can remember the special time you made for your family will be worth it. When it is cleaning time the next day - prepare to make a game of it, get all your kids to help.. deligate! Put some fun music on and it's amazing what the little elves can all accomplish!! I know it can be easier said than done, but if you put your mind to it, it's amazing what can happen :) All the best!!


Anonymous said...

Must agree with Ellen-leave the housework, take a few hours to do your own thing-walk,shop,coffee out, and make chore charts for the kids-they can easily help set up table,clean up, put wash away,etc..maybe let the baby sit in swing or car seat for a while too to give you a break? I had 4 kids in 4 years and now they are just all in school but beleive me, all moms go through this thing you feel as postpartum blues, stay at home moms, and need and deserve the time to our selves to revamp and recharge. All the best...a canadian stay at home mom of 4 in BC

Nancy said...

Yes, yes.

It's frustrating to not be able to do some things - but soon you will be able to again.

And after all your babies are grown up, it will seem like they were little for such a short time.

Kudos that you recognize it's about enjoying them and the progress they make.

And also, look after yourself -

Lotsa love -

momofthecrazies said...

Sorry for your frustration. The pictures of your family are beautiful though!

Erin said...

hmmmmm i remember these feeling all too well.
i know this sounds cliche...but this too shall pass.