I have a confession to make.
Today I want to run away. I don't want to be here. I don't want to have kids or animals to feed.
I want to jet off somewhere warm with my husband and pretend like I don't have children.
I usually do so well enjoying my life. For someone who did not want children but got pregnant on her wedding night, I think I've managed to embraced the life given to me.
Today....not so much.
On Facebook I keep reading about all my friends who are off to warm places, or still single and traveling the world, going skiing, having fun and just enjoying their lives. Are they as happy as they seem? Because right now I'm soooo envious. I'm envious that they don't have 3 little people that are ALWAYS needing something. They are not tied down or BROKE because they have a career that actually pays them a salary.
I know, I know...children are a blessing...blah blah. I don't want to hear it. I'm not having an 'oh how I love my children' moment so just let me vent.
I'm having 2 thoughts.... 1) What am I thinking having yet ANOTHER mouth to feed. All I'm doing is prolonging the time before they all go away. Two, I'm stuck with them whether I like it or not.
There are not many mom blogs that state these feelings. In fact right now I have to admit that I'm avoiding reading all posts related to how much they love their kids and feel so blessed...It makes me angry right now because I just feel guilty for NOT having loving feelings about my life.
Perhaps I'll feel better as soon as I type this. After all I'm just venting and I know it will pass.
I don't care. That's how I feel.
I want to run away and hide.
So there you have it. The truth. Should I change my blog to MOST times I'm Proud to be Country?? Will you stop reading me because I'm not inspiring you to enjoy the simple things? or will you read me more because I am being real?? Whatever. Does not matter how many people read this blog. What matters is that tomorrow I get up on the right side of the bed.