March 15, 2008

A Humble Attitude

My roll in our marriage is to run the house and care for our three children.

This is no small task, and sometimes I find myself wondering if it is all appreciated. Better yet, whether my husband realizes the work that goes in to having our home clean and organized, supper on the table, groceries done, kids bathed, myself showered, and all on time. Not to mention the countless other fine details that make our lives worth living.

As a God loving woman I take my role seriously. I want to please my husband and give him a loving, welcoming, well run home so when he comes home we can spend our days as a family and not doing all of the above.

The Bible is quite clear on servitude and a heart that is humble, and never proud.

I have accepted my role with joy, but I must admit that some days...I get so frustrated and angry. I get in a tug of war with my feelings. I get into this ugly place where I feel the need to subtly mention how much I did and justify why I am now lying on the couch with my feet up.

What am I looking for at that point? a pat on the back? a thank you? recognition from my husband that oh yes I've done so much that I SHOULD rest because I'm a super woman?

That does not sound very humble to me, and I don't like it.

I guess sometimes I just want to hear "wow hunny, you do such a good job, I don't know how you do it", and if I don't hear that I start to wonder if I am loved or appreciated at all.

If I don't hear it, I look past all the OTHER ways my husband DOES show me he appreciates me, loves me and needs me. For some reason HIS ways are not good enough because they are not MY ways, or what I THINK I need to hear or see.

How unfair that is to my husband. How ungrateful and unappreciative of ME.


I've been stricken with food poisoning for a few days, and from the MOMENT I looked at my husband Wednesday night and told him I was going to bed because I did not feel well, he was AMAZING.

For the next Two days he did EVERYTHING....and best of all without a single complaint, sigh or need to tell me how tired HE was. I even got in trouble for getting off the couch to fold the laundry.

The fact that he took a day off work to take care of his very ill wife meant more to me than hearing the words "wow hunny, how do you do it."

I did not need to hear those words.

He SHOWED me, with love and grace how special I am to him and that meant everything to me.

Thank you Hunny for Showing me that I am loved and appreciated around here, and Thank you Lord for humbling my heart and reminding me to work on my pride every once in a while.

I will continue being your humble servant with an open heart and joyous attitude. Both in my marriage and in my walk with you.

...and I promise to my husband to be grateful and happy with YOUR WAYS of showing me affection. Perhaps my own satisfaction will be an even greater gift to you.

I love you.
A few Great sites I've found that deal with being a Godly, Virtuous Woman based on
Proverbs 31 are:

A Virtuous Woman

Biblical Womanhood

Proverbs 31 Ministries


Carey said...

Its very easy to fall into those feelings. I know I find myself there more times than i would like to be. One book that i find helpful is The Fiver Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Have you read this book yet? It talks about the different ways we express and recieve love..very helpful. There is also one for kids love languages, but i havent read that one yet.

Katy said... I totally felt and agree with every single one of your words on this post!!!
It's like i NEED to hear specifically that he appreciates me and I tend to push aside all the other ways he shows me this!

I got a migraine last was HORRIBLE...and he came home from work...and took over. sent me to bed and took care of the kids. It is sooo wonderful for me to know I can fall asleep and rest and know my kids are fine and with their dad.

Thank you Lord for putting good men in our lives. Not all women are so lucky. Thank you so much Alyson for posting this and giving me a wake up call! I needed it!

Also..i hope you are feeling MUCH better now!!! xoxo

Bess said...

How awesome!

I'm praying that you are better! :)

Katy said...

One of our chickens was killed today :(. i know you can relate. i am totally bummed!

ValleyGirl said...

Isn't it easy how quickly we figure we deserve recognition for our jobs and yet neglect doing the same for our husbands and their jobs? I hate it when I realize it's happened around here!!