I just can't ever seem to catch up on anything. I have books and projects that go untouched for weeks. I went for a pedicure on my birthday thanks to my friend and I got a lecture about taking time to apply some cream every once in a while.
What happened to me? I have always been on top of things. Projects and books never went incomplete. It has never been like me to forget that I have a magazine on the table waiting for me, or a phone call to make...or breakfast to eat, or a shower to take.
I guess having three little kids and running a house by myself (minus big projects) is finally catching up. I'm amazed at the amount of work a five,three year old AND baby is. With Peyton teething, at the end of the day I look at my living room littered with toys and just sigh....I'll pick it up tomorrow.
I look at my projects and think...I don't want to do it now.
I think about all the stuff that I forgot about today and think...oh forget it.
It is 7pm and all is well with the kids. I REALLY don't want to spend the next hour doing ANYTHING!! I have one hour before my husband calls and then I get to get ready for bed. I want to say something intelligent and inspiring on my blog but to be completely honest, I don't want to spend 20 minutes trying to research and spell check. I REALLY CAN'T BE BOTHERED!!
I have soooo many things running through my mind. So many things that I am learning about right now (like nutrition,plastic,vaccines,chickens) but I just can't pinpoint any ONE thought.
It is almost like my mind is just going...going....going, and at the end of the day I just want to stop! I just want to shut my brain off and stare into blank space with my feet up WITHOUT feeling guilty that I'm not accomplishing anything.
I have a feeling this will be my reality for two years. Two years until my kids will be able to do more on their own...like wipe their own bums and brush their own teeth. My youngest will play with his sisters and they will all have CHORES to do so I won't be the only one doing EVERYTHING!!!
The following verse has been playing in my head this week.
The Lord is my Sheperd I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Psalm 23 1-3 NLT
The Lord really is my rest and my peace. I NEED to find more time for Him in all of this.
4 comments:
I hear you. Love from me and from God too I'm sure.
Wow, it's like you're in my head! I just get so overwhelmed when I think of all the things that should still get done. I'm having a very hard time studying in the evenings after the girls are in bed because, yeah, it's their chaos that keeps me functioning and once it's over, my brain just turns to mush!
I'm starting to feel as though my brain is turning to mush. Being a stay at home mom is very challenging - both mentally and emotionally, but sometimes I feel as though I don't use my brain all that much in a day. Will that change as the kids get older and I have to start helping with homework?
Just do whats important and the rest will take care of itself.
Dad
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