Cat Got your ummm Tongue??

I could not resist copying this story from Our Seven Qtpies. I needed a laugh this morning after being woken up at 530am by two fighting children. I hope it makes you laugh too ;)
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone
can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.
No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling
that my boss thinks I'm lying.On one recent occasion, I had a
valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned
humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.
By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage
on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was
no problem. Then one morning I was taking my shower after
breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she
persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you
a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that
my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I
perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink
to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me
into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered
the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached
under the sink, and at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged
them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control
orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed,
with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know
this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the
sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
The impact knocked me out cold.When I awoke, my wife and the
paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this
life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked
in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics
were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the
while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to
talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?"
They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
If they only knew!